Still Waiting

So, here we are in the 1st productive “work week” of a New Year.
But, HELLO, reality check: I am NOT working.
And, the thought of finding a new place in the world brings on a cold sweat. I need to move forward, find a job; but, today fear has a grip on my feet and it won't release them.

I try to visualize myself working in an office again....fluorescent lights overhead and beige padded cubicles all around...is that one mine? 12 spaces down & 2 rows over? Or, maybe I'll be setting out in my car to make sales calls again. I try to imagine driving some where, but all I see is a black hole. Maybe I'll win the lottery and never have to work again... unlikely, I do not play the lottery!

No, Stop fantasizing and procrastinating. Get a Grip! Prayerfully send 5 resumes before you do anything else. Trust God with your whole heart; don't lean on your own mind. I used to love that verse; but, this year I'm finding it's much harder to do it, than to memorize it.
(Trust me on this...blind trust, walking by faith...I get it; but some days its just plain 'hard' to live it!)

I don't have a clue how 2009 will unfold and what will come into my life... and flow out of it.
But, I DO KNOW that God knows. He knows it all, no worries.
And, I DO TRUST Him... But, Lord... Help me trust You MORE!

Come on now, take stock, you're ok, still in good shape, "sharp, clean, all the original parts still in working order" (even though I am past the 50K-mileage warranty!) There are newer, edgy-er models out there and they will be competing for the same employer attention. Bring me Your Wisdom, Lord. They have I-phones, wii's, and flat stomachs. They can kick my butt at Guitar Hero, and text faster than I can think...but I know You, and You help me. I don't have to be afraid. You make well-worn paths straight.

Lord, I don't have to tell You how I vacillate between thinking that I am a wise highly-skilled woman and a split-second later thinking that I am a compleeete loooser. You already know all about me.
But, I will sit with You and tell You anyway, because Your Word says that You want me to (and because it helps so much to know, that I'm known by You.) This season of waiting will pass. You will put me where You want me, if I stay yielded to You. That’s really all I want too. Keep me in Your Will, I don't seem to know anything... anymore.

Wait, that's not true, I do still know a few things:

~When I am still, and I wait, and quiet my racing mind, I do know...
God is real
~I know for sure that God holds me in the palm of His Hand
God is peace
~I know for sure I can look back and see God has never let me down
God is faithful
~I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can rest in His Promises.
God is truth
~I know He definitely has a plan for my life; He has not forgotten me;
God is present
~I know that Jesus died for me and lives to intercede for me
God is LOVE beyond all comprehension

God, You said that You would never leave us or forsake us.
God, You are my very present help, guide my thoughts.
God, You are a Loving, Faithful, Miracle-working God.
God, You are the Architect, You hold the blueprint of my life.
God, You know me better than I know myself.
God, You are my Hope. I surrender to YOU.
Teach me to walk by faith!

God's Word is a Lifeline for those who WAIT:
“Meanwhile the moment we get tired in the waiting,
God’s Spirit is right alongside, helping us along.
If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter.
He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of wordless sighs…
He knows us far better than we know ourselves…
That’s why we can BE SURE that EVERY DETAIL IN OUR LIVES
of love for God, is worked into something good.”
Romans 8:26-28, from The Message